Growing a Beloved Community, Part II (July 15, 2007 by James Montgomery Jackson)
This is the second service I am basing my homily on a book by UU minister Tom Owen-Towle titled Growing a Beloved Community: twelve hallmarks of a healthy congregation. On June 24 I talked about the first five hallmarks. If you weren’t here then you can find my remarks on MUUC’s website. And if you were here, you’ll be happy to know I am only going to spend one paragraph on the material from that Sunday.
And here is the paragraph. Developing and maintaining a healthy congregation is a requisite to long-term growth. At our congregational meeting we approved a growth-oriented budget, so it behooves us to understand what makes and maintains healthy congregations. Owen-Towle’s first five hallmarks were (1) Occupy Holy Ground, (2) Welcome All Souls, (3) Care for Your Own, (4) Give Everyone a Voice, and (5) Encourage Unity Amidst Diversity. I am quoting liberally from Owen-Towle’s book without specific attribution so if it sounds good, it’s probably him; clunky – me. All caught up?
The Sixth Hallmark: Balance Justice and Joy.
E.B. White put the problem before us succinctly when he said, “I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world, and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” While White speaks of a personal conundrum, as a congregation we have the same issue to deal with.
Focus only on joy and become hedonistic, even narcissistic. Focus only on justice and become a mirthless nag. We must individually and as a congregation find balance. Here I think the UUA and the General Assembly process is not a good model. We have multiple resolutions covering a wide breadth of issues, but with no depth of understanding, and little effort to debate the pros and cons of an issue. In the most recent General Assembly, which was fairly typical, delegates passed six Actions of Immediate Witness and a Statement of Conscience. Individually and as a congregation we would wear ourselves out trying to tend to all of these issues.
We need to be focused in our social activism, not driven by it. Unless we feel good about what we are doing, we will lose interest and probably burn-out, leeching the joy we should be experiencing in our works.
Liberal Minister Howard Thurman remarked, “Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” In adopting our resolution to encourage Marquette High School to stop using “Redmen” and “Redettes” we used the “five-fingered” vote as a method of measuring the level of enthusiasm for taking on this issue. Not only did we vote yea or nay, but whether at one extreme (five fingers) we plan to actively support the work required to take on the issue; at the other extreme (one finger – but since we are respectful, not the middle one) indicating we will actively try to block the work of the issue.
I have a feeling, not backed up by any fact or research on my part, that unless at least a third of the congregation rates an issue a five-finger proposal, the congregation shouldn’t take it on. That says nothing about an issue’s worthiness, but recognizes there needs to be a critical mass to be effective.
And part of the reason for needing a critical mass is the joy of doing things together. Frequently in justice work we are overwhelmed. Changing the world often does not get a lot of positive feedback from the world. Prophets are often proclaimed as such only after they have been martyred. Consequently, we need a large group to sustain the project, to support each other as things go against our desires, to bring laughter and humor to the fray. Without joy and humor we are “like a wagon without springs; jolted by every pebble in the road.”
The seventh Hallmark: Look Back, Around, and Ahead
In pursuit of the Beloved Community, the past is cherished, the present is celebrated, and the future is charted. We draw the living tradition we share from many sources. All of those are looking back. The more we understand of that history, that knowledge, the firmer our foundation.
Were it not for the past, we would not be here. Can you name the founders of our congregation? I can’t and I would like to be able to. Some UU meeting places have a memorial wall or garden that lists members who have died. At St. John’s, my Cincinnati church, there is an annual celebration of an “Unsung Hero:” Someone not in the official leadership whose work is often out of sight. I enjoy looking over the plaque that records the winners and asking old-timers what they were doing back then, and for those years I have been around, it reminds me of positive aspects of congregational life.
We’ve talked plenty in the past about the need for vision in moving forward. And it is fun to noodle about the future. But while it is important to acknowledge the past with gratitude and anticipate the future with enthusiasm, healthy congregations expend the bulk of their energy in the present. Not living for the present, but living fully in the present.
We must recognize the most important congregational activity we engage in is the one we are participating in right now. No, I don’t mean a service I am leading. I mean each and every activity as we are engaged in it: worship, religious education, a social action, even a budget meeting.
So as a congregation we must let the past guide us; the future inspire us; and fully live the present with those all around us.
The eighth Hallmark: Spread our Good News
How did your first learn of Unitarian Universalism? How do you expect our next visitor to hear of us?
While some may discover us through independent research, they are the exception. Most people hear of us either because they came to some event at the meeting house or someone sparked their curiosity.
Let me briefly share my story of how I came to know Unitarian Universalism. Sometime when I was in my early thirties and not a church-goer my mother had mentioned as part of a conversation about religion that I might want to look into the “Unitarians.” A seed wasted in a field of weeds.
Later I worked with Tom Maloof who in discussion mentioned he went to a church that celebrated Christian and Jewish and Pagan holidays. Interesting, I thought. Another seed dropped into the weeds.
A decade later I happened to attend a program at the Unitarian Church in Summit, NJ and picked up some literature, which happened to mention our multiple sources. Ah, I thought, this must be the kind of church Tom went to, so this was what my mother was talking about. The place was huge (450+ members) and had an ossified feel, but I did take a pamphlet or two, which I read and tossed away.
And then a year later I saw a short article in a local newspaper about a Unitarian Universalist congregation that had just purchased an old Presbyterian church in Baptistown, NJ, about 25 minutes away from my home. And I went. That was in 1991. A year later I joined that congregation and have been affiliated with one or more Unitarian Universalist churches ever since.
I know what you’re thinking. Not too bright – it takes four knocks on his door before he finally answers. And yet, what if I had only gotten three knocks?
We’ve done some good things and we can do better. A few weeks ago we had a visitor from AuTrain, maybe. She’s a UU in a congregation to the south (that’s safe, fact is I can’t remember where) who vacations up here and is considering moving here after retirement. She knew there was a UU congregation someplace up here and passed our sign. It drew her to come the next Sunday with her husband. And I suspect we will see them again.
Like the church in Summit, NJ, we have literature available should a visitor arrive and wonder what we are about.
But, that is passive. We need to be low-key evangelists. As I was writing this I could picture your squirming in the seats. He wants me to be an evangelist? What – we should find the Jehovah Witnesses and follow behind – if they get a no we follow-up with “if you didn’t like them, you might like us?”
No, I want you to be more subversive than that. I want you to live your Unitarian Universalist principles in the open. Should you be put on trial for being a UU, is there sufficient evidence to convict you? People will naturally be drawn to you when you are living your life fully.
Should the occasion arrive do you have your 30-second elevator speech describing Unitarian Universalism? Over the years I have read some good ones, but at the moment I need one, I don’t seem to have it on the tip of my tongue. I am getting better. I used to fumble about mostly saying what we weren’t rather than what we are. I still start out that way, but then I move to the positive.
Now I toss in three facts and a question. We are a non-creedal religion. We draw our wisdom from many sources and each person is responsible for their own spiritual growth. We covenant to affirm and promote a number of principles, including the inherent worth and dignity of every person and to respect the interdependent web of life of which we are a part. If you are interested, I can give you a copy of all seven principles.
I carry in my wallet this nifty summary of the seven principles and the sources of the living tradition.
Like the thrush of the story, we need our lives and our words to resonate throughout the land. Maybe ours will be knock number one and we will never know who or what or when was knock number four. Or maybe you will be knock number four and because of you a guest will appear in our space.
The ninth Hallmark: Practice Respect
In part I, I discussed how we can Give Everyone a Voice. Practicing Respect is its twin. A congregation that does not recognize there are different viewpoints within its congregants is badly mistaken. What it probably means is that people think the congregation is on a shaky foundation and if any controversial issue arises it might split the congregation asunder.
If we have no differences in our congregation we would be dull stuff indeed. Healthy congregations recognize deep understanding is only honed with the sharpening of rigorous debate and discussion.
Respect means fighting fair. Thich Nhat Hanh suggests we inhabit a state of “nonstubborness.” We abandon our set agendas to listen carefully to opposing viewpoints. We look again at our own motives before casting judgment on others. We do not seek to wear down the opposition by our lengthy speeches or emails. We actively search for good compromise and find win-win solutions.
We let an issue go, even when we do not prefer the outcome the congregation has chosen. Unless the issue goes to the core of our beliefs and we choose to leave the church. But that is a resort we are unlikely to ever reach. As Hosea Ballou said in his 1805 work A Treatise on Atonement, “If we have love, no disagreement can do us harm, but if we have not love, no agreement can do us any good.”
In today’s modern age there is another area of respect many of us have strayed from: being respectful of other’s time. We get a message in our voice-mail: “Please call back about ‘x’.” Maybe it is about the annual pledge drive or bringing a snack for after services or serving on a committee. Whatever. Some among us call back reasonably promptly. Others wait for the second, third, fourth call. How is that respectful of our fellow-congregant’s time? It takes no more or less time to say “yes” or “no” after the first request than the fourth.
The tenth Hallmark: Nurture Stewards
To my eye, there are two aspects to this hallmark. The development of stewards of and for our congregation and the nurturing of those who are stewards. Henry Ward Beecher was asked if he wanted to buy a horse. “He’s a good family horse, works double or alone, is gentle, intelligent, not easily frightened, will stand without hitching and is thoroughly sound and reliable.” Beecher replied, “I can’t buy your horse, sir, but I’d like to have it as a member of my church.”
And right he is. Where would we be without members who can work as a team or alone, are gentle, intelligent, not frightened by the tasks at hand, who take their place without being tethered and are thoroughly sound and reliable? Without the stewards in this congregation we would not be. How to develop stewards is a topic for a whole service and yet if you consider it in a different light, all we have been talking about for this week and the last service is about the growth and care of good stewards.
How do we nurture our stewards? By making this congregation a place in which they find renewal, both through their service and when they rest. And this is the second key, allowing our stewards to rest, to rejuvenate. I have noticed at St. John’s that the president of the Board would frequently almost withdraw from congregational activities the year after their year of presidency. It is not easy work, even when everything is going well in a congregation. We need to honor our steward’s needs to rejuvenate, to find those areas within our congregational life to renew their spirit.
In a 250+ member congregation like St. John’s that would seem to be easier than in a congregation of 50+. It matters not. To remain healthy we must find ways to nurture our stewards as they nurture our congregation.
The eleventh Hallmark: Keep Journeying
It is not easy to build and maintain a Beloved Community. And we can never step back; look at our work and say: “Done!” In life, personal or congregational, there is no such thing as stasis. We are either growing, expanding the ways we fill our mission – or we are in decline. That does not mean we have to be active at every moment in time. When we want to strengthen our muscles we must push them past their normal level of activity and then let them rest. So too with congregations.
But in those periods of rest are the seeds and the planning for the next growth opportunity.
When traveling with a friend of ours if you ask him for direction at an intersection, he will say “forward.” He doesn’t want to impose any sexual preferences on you by suggesting you must go “straight.”
True for our individual journeys and true for our congregational journey. There is no end; it is all in the journeying. Owen-Towle reminds us we should not think of ourselves as human beings, but as human becomings.
The twelfth Hallmark: Know That You Are Not Alone
Beloved Community is not about one individual, nor is it about one community. It is found in the community of communities. Like the thrush our song travels from place to place. As we travel we bring our news to others and return with their news. We do not have to invent everything on our own—others have gone before us.
We are on a pan-generational journey. We stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us; we join hands with those who are with us; we leave our works for those who come after us.
Growing a Beloved Community isn’t like a garden where you sow, cultivate and harvest. The sowing is the harvesting; cultivating is the planting and the fruits of our work enhance the web of life of which we all are a part.
Doesn’t get much better than that, does it?